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Thingish Things

It’s Not Okay

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - May• 30•11

When did everyone riding a bike start looking like they are trying out for the Tour de France?

It’s embarrassing.  For everyone. It needs to stop.

This afternoon my 14-year-old daughter burst out laughing as we drove past a 50-something-year-old man head-to-toe in sheer yellow…stretchy-stuff.  He had on wrap-around mirrored sunglasses that made him look like LaVar Burton in Star Trek: The Next Generation and an aerodynamic helmet that must have been designed by NASA — it went half way down his back.  Every piece of his clothing – if you can call it that – had brand names sprawled across it.  Are we to think he has sponsors?

LaVar Burton in Star Trek

Mr. Yellow was the not the only we passed.  There was Mr. Red and Mr. Orange, Mr. Neon-Green, and several old guys who can only be described as wearing tropical fruit colors.  All in that same stretchy stuff; all sporting, as the Brits might say, forlorn “kits” that should make each of them ashamed to be part of the male fraternity.  They may as well be biking in Speedos. (Just because everyone is wearing them doesn’t make it okay – ever.)

“I’m 14.  I’m the one who’s supposed to be going through my awkward phase,” my daughter alertly noted. “I mean, what’s up with these guys? They’re like accountants, right?”

I’ve heard all the arguments: wind resistance, no loose clothing to get caught in gears, muscle support, visibility to cars, yada, yada yada.  For God’s sake it’s a bicycle. And while we’re at it, what did you do with that kick stand?  You know you miss it.

Women “cyclists” wear these get ups, too, of course, but there is an admitted double standard on this one.  They look sexy in stretchy stuff.  Men look ridiculous.  Will someone please officially tell them it’s not okay?

Doesn’t anyone just goes bike riding anymore?

 

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4 Comments

  1. Pugs says:

    Lycra is a privilege…not a right…

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