Thingish Things

@#%!** Goldfish!

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 27•11

I bought six goldfish for my youngest daughter a year ago.  In a week, they were all dead.  So I bought a big tank -– a 10-galloner -– multi-colored pebbles, and a filtration system with the next six fish.  Those were all “gone to heaven” in two weeks.   So I bought “hardier” goldfish, special food, a new filtration system, a light, fish toys, water conditioner, and new pebbles.  Six floaters within days. I changed the water religiously, but not too often.  That didn’t do it.  Six little guppies KIA. So I brought the water into a lab for testing. It was fine.  But still, the next six fish went belly up, too.  And the six after that and after that.  And the six after that.

I finally gave up. I felt like a monster.  I might as well have been stepping on the things outside the store.

Then today, I read the remarkable story about two goldfish living for 134 days after the New Zealand earthquake with no food, no filtration, no light – no nuttin’

One word: @#!%$@!!!!

P.S.: After emptying, cleaning, and drying the 10-gallon tank, my daughter and I bought two adorable white mice (and a wheel, toys, treats, bedding, a house, a wire mesh cover, and some other stuff.) One week later I let them “sleep outside” to get some fresh air. A fox ate ‘em.  Count me out. 

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  1. Me says:

    Mice, Billy? MICE? Dear. Lord.

  2. Your Friend says:

    Very funny piece. Thanks for the morning laugh. You might try a Siamese Fighting Fish (Betta fish or Betta Splendens). They can live in a bowl with no filter. We had one that died, but the other one is nearly indestructible. My niece has had one for years — while she was in college. I’m sure you can imagine the conditions. Those New Zealand gold fish probably had it better.

  3. Cathy Rambo Gorry says:

    My son had frogs…not a big fan of the food chain pets, but we had to feed them crickets…we went away one xmas, came home, and “mysteriously” they were missing from the tank (read, my son left the lid off)for 3 days, and nights, walking barefoot was dicey…vacuuming the stairs, I saw what appeared to be a walnut…hoover sucked it up…petrified dead frog.
    When Emma won a Betta fish, we named it sushi! Go with a teddy bear hamster…easy to train, live roughly 2 years, if you don’t leave them for the foxes!

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