I’m no legal scholar. In fact, I’m no scholar at all. But last week’s court ruling by a Washington, D.C. federal judge strikes me as a tad Orwellian.

In her 64-page ruling on the constitutionality of Obamcare under the Constitution’s Commerce Clause — can the government force you to buy health insurance — Judge Gladys Kessler writes that Congress has the power to regulate the “mental activity” of U.S. citizens.

Here’s how Her Honor interprets the Commerce Clause:

“As previous Commerce Clause cases have all involved physical activity, as opposed to mental activity, i.e. decision-making, there is little judicial guidance on whether the latter falls within Congress’s power. …However, this Court finds the distinction, which Plaintiffs rely on heavily, to be of little significance…Making a choice is an affirmative action, whether one decides to do something or not do something.”

You got that right: Judge Kessler asserts that refusing to buy something can be construed as a commercial action and therefore can be covered under the Commerce Clause.  Ergo, refusing to buy health insurance is unconstitutional under Obamacare.

I’ve always wanted to use the line “by what sophistry of reason?” uttered by Gregory Peck in McArthur — or was it The Omen? — and I don’t think I’ll ever have a better opportunity, so…

…By what sophistry of reason does Judge Kessler come up with that? It seems like a classic case of twisting logic long and far enough to arrive at a preordained conclusion.

The Judge assures us, though, that, while this “mental activity” ruling can force one to buy health insurance, it would not mandate someone to buy, say, an automobile, because the government is not proposing to purchase cars for all its citizens. But insurance.  You must buy that.

Is it vertigo, or is this slope feeling extraordinarily slippery?

Thankfully, there are actual legal scholars out there who think Judge Kessler has gone a little bit mental in her decision, too.  I’ll have to leave it up to them to get this ruling walked back. I’m going to spend the rest of my day choosing not to buy government bonds.

Wisconsin senate Democrats hiding out in Illinois are beginning to sound desperate.  They are now asking Wisconsin senate Republicans to meet them  near the Wisconsin-Illinois border “to formally resume serious discussions as soon as possible,” according to The New York Times.  The Republicans are showing no interest.

I wonder if the truant senators realize how ridiculous their request sounds.  What do they envision, megaphone exchanges across the 38^th parallel?

Perhaps what is weakening the Democrats resolve is talk of their paychecks being held at the state capitol.  They would actually have to show up at work to get them. Why they are being paid for playing hooky is another question.

Looks like this stand-off will be over soon.

( I realize this is glitchy.  Just playing around with some survey plugins.  Please excuse any temporary disorder.)

Question:

(Warning: This post may be inappropriate for readers of any age.)

Northwestern University got into a pickle this week when a live sex demonstration involving a couple and “an electronic device” took place before 100 students in a lecture hall following a Human Sexuality class. It wasn’t the new IPad.

The professor invited students to stay and watch, after advising them that the demonstration would be sexually explicit, which, in talking to 19- or 20-year olds is effectively the same thing.

According to news reports, Northwestern supported the voyeuristic professor when word of his “teaching methods” first trickled out. But after the incident got widespread attention in the Chicago media market — and alumni began to howl — it threw him under the bus.

The Northwestern professor may have thought he was cutting-edge in allowing, indeed, arranging, a classroom sex show, but I am sorry to report my alma mater, NYU, was way ahead of him.

In 1985 a friend at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts returned from class shaking his head. It was final-exam-time in a performance arts course, when an ordinary student might crawl over glass or lock himself inside a locker for a day — those were actual performances — but on this particular morning, one male student advanced his art a step further.

He marched to the front of the lecture hall, dropped his drawers, and began to, uh, vigorously speak unto himself. The professor allowed it,  apparently viewing his simian antics as legitimate “performance art”, which perhaps it is in the most liberal interpretation of “performance” art.

Thankfully, my friend reported, the professor halted the demonstration before the student’s vigor won the day, sparing students in the classroom years on the psychiatric couch:  “I can’t get it out of my head, Doctor Epstein.”

The story is not all bad, though.  I never would have remembered it if it was. The professor gave her exhibitionist student a “B.”

A “B.”

He’ll spend the rest of his life trying to figure that one out.

Fast Tube by Casper

This one is going to hurt in 2012. I’d expect to see it a few thousand more times.

Prospective Republican candidates for President are taking their first baby steps towards running. That usually entails political trips to Iowa or New Hampshire and fundraising trips to New York and California. The place to watch, though, to determine the number and caliber of Republican candidates for President in 2012 is Washington, DC.

If President Obama continues to look deer-in-the-headlights on the international stage, and if the economy remains anemic — if gas prices keep rising —  we should see solid Republican candidates actually enter the GOP primaries, not just floating trial balloons.

The expression you can’t beat something with nothing applies — there is no wow! GOP candidate out there right now — but there doesn’t need to be.  A competent one will do. The American people tend not to tolerate a rudderless White House for long, and that’s exactly what this one has become. Besides, there will be no incumbent wow candidate to run against.

Senator Obama decidedly fit that category as a candidate in 2008. His rhetorical skills blew the electorate away. But he’s all talked out now. His handlers over-exposed him, burning his ace in the hole. The public knows his complete rhetorical inventory now and are numb to it.  The President will need to rely on his record, not his words, to get reelected.

Barring unforeseen circumstances — and there are always unforeseen circumstances — here are the President’s best rationales for re-election right now, as I see them:

1.  It’s Bush’s fault and Wall Street’s fault. I inherited a huge mess.

2. Through bold and decisive action, I stabilized a country in a tailspin. The economy is now growing again and jobs are being created. It took longer than I wanted, but please refer back to rationale #1.

3.  I saved General Motors and Chrysler, which are now profitable and on par in labor costs with foreign automobile manufacturers for the first time in history. The American auto industry is back and poised to be better than ever.

4. I provided health care insurance to 40 million uninsured Americans by sticking to my guns and doing what was politically unpopular. This has been an elusive goal for more than half a century and I accomplished it.

5.  I pulled troops out of Iraq as promised and on schedule, and I have brought the fight to the enemy in Afghanistan where it always should have been waged. We are making slow progress, but we will prevail and leave.

6. I have kept the country safe. There has been no major terrorist action on my watch, and

7. The United States rejoined the international community as a friend and partner in world affairs.

Best commercial fodder:  GM and Chrysler

Employing the same caveat about unforeseen circumstances, here are the best arguments against re-election for the President as I see it:

1. President Obama is bankrupting America.  We are $14 trillion in debt and he has no plan to save us.

2.  The President is a reckless and arrogant ideologue.  He forced through a deeply-flawed, budget busting healthcare fiasco no one wanted. It’s government overreach in the extreme; it’s probably unconstitutional, and it’s going to damage the quality of U.S. healthcare.

3. President Obama broke the soaring promises on which he ran: Unemployment skyrocketed under his watch; he did nothing with illegal immigration; he has been one of the most partisan presidents in decades; the seas aren’t lowering, and not only did he not streamline government as he said he would, he stole from our kids in spending trillions of dollars we don’t have.

4.  Hillary Clinton was right. President Obama is still not ready for the 3 a.m. telephone call. World events, particularly in North Africa and the Middle East, have bewildered him. We have no coherent foreign policy.

5. The U.S. has badly lost world prestige under President Obama. He sold out allies like Israel to cozy up to tyrants, and got nothing for it.

6. The President is lost. He has no plan, no political compass, and no vision.

Best commercial fodder: Broken promises. Rhetoric v. Reality.

It is important to remember that presidential elections aren’t national elections. They are 50 individual state contests, with around eight or 10 being competitive. Once again, it will come down to states like: Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Minnesota, and Florida to decide our next president. Which rationales will ring more true to voters in those states?  It will likely depend on the economic momentum in those states at the time.  Which way is the possession arrow pointing; in the direction of continued decline or in the direction of relief?

President Obama remains stuck well under 50% in the Real Clear Politics compilation of U.S. polls.  He has hovered in the 46-48% range for most of his presidency. If he is still there by mid-summer,  we can expect to see a qualified and spirited GOP field emerge.

It really is no fun to fly anymore.

The ride itself is okay; I’m not even bothered by the security screenings; it’s the rip-off factor that ruins it for me.

The moment you get to the check-in counter you begin to feel cheated. My brother and I checked two tiny bags this morning  — a pocket knife and some fishing lures rendered them illegal to carry on — and a plastic tube for fishing rods. The extra cost? $85.

Once on the flight, we were offered “free” headsets. But to watch the TV, you’d have to swipe a credit card ($6.) But wait, you can get $2 off if you use the Chase Continental Airlines MasterCard, which probably charges you 25% in interest.

The pilot announced no electronic devices — even in airplane mode — as soon as the doors closed. But when everyone started using them anyway, and the stewardesses said nothing, it became apparent that the announcement was designed to lure more passengers into becoming $6 television watchers. (At the end of the flight, the pilot announced that all electronic devices would have to be turned off. Hmm.)

And then the peanut cart. Visa or MasterCard. No cash.

I did get a free cup of coffee, though.  I asked that it be poured right into my travel mug; why waste a styrofoam cup? No-can-do. Company policy. The airline will pour coffee into a six-ounce cup and hand it to you; you can then pour it into your mug. Wouldn’t want to pour any extra by mistake.

Brother can you spare a drop?

House Majority Leader John Boehner (3) shows guts today in announcing that Republicans in Congress will grab the third rail of American politics in advocating reforms in Social Security and Medicare. He also shows considerable political acumen, no matter what current polls indicate.

Public opinion surveys will say Boehner’s  crazy. The average American will always oppose raising the age at which social security kicks in or reducing health care benefits when asked. He will also say he’s less likely to vote for a member of Congress who would support such ideas. But what the polls will never be able to measure is the leadership quotient — that intangible quality in some people that makes others follow them despite their immediate self interest.

Abraham Lincoln handily won re-election over  George McClellan in 1864 even though voters badly wanted the Civil War to end. McClellan promised to negotiate a peace; Lincoln vowed to fight on.

Had pollsters surveyed Jimmy Doolittle’s volunteer pilots before their symbolic, and almost assuredly suicidal, mission to bomb Japan in early 1942, I suspect, to a man, they would have reported a preference to skip the whole thing and go to the movies instead. Yet they went.

Liberals in New York City detested most of what Rudy Giuliani stood for in 1997. But they re-elected him overwhelming because he was a leader.

It is yet to be seen if Boehner has that leadership quality — yes, leaders can cry — but signaling willingness to do what looks politically crazy in the short-term to help save the country in the long-term suggests that he very well might.

Cows are taking a beating — at least in New York where I live.

Every girl/woman/lady who walks by me is wearing leather boots half way to her — all the way to her knees.

They’re suede. Patent leather. Rawhide. Tassled. Black, red, blue, green. And all of them T-A-L-L.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the things. All guys do. It’s some primordial thing I can’t explain. One look and we are inspired to action of one sort of another. But other than that, there is nothing utilitarian about these boots. They are strictly fashion, fashion, fashion.

The question I have is where the heck is PETA?  You know, People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals — the ones who protest in the buff and throw red paint on old ladies in fur coats.  Where have they been this fashion season?  Are they blind to this, this…cowacide? I mean for godssake, a bovine could develop a complex. Don’t they count? Or do PETA protesters only strip naked for minks and marsupials?

Pencil-mustachioed ex-Dior fashion designer John Galliano is the only fashionista taking a beating these days in the press, he for idiotically claiming allegiance to Adolf Hitler. A quick look at Galliano, though, deeply undermines his claim. He is far more Artist-Formerly-Known-as -Prince than Dead-Nazi-Formerly-Known-as-Goebells. Not exactly Third Reich material.

The one who should really get it is the fashion designer who started this boot craze. He should be tarred and feathered by PETA — then tearfully hugged by the rest of us with a gratitude like that showered on De Gaul entering Paris.

Associated Press is reporting that Wisconsin senate Republicans are planning a procedural move that could result in the return by force of the 14 truant senate Democrats from Illinois.  Sounds like an awful idea.  The Republicans are in the right as of now — the senate Democrats should be in Wisconsin performing their sworn constitutional duty as elected officials, not hiding out to prevent legislative quorum — but dragging them back against their will will, in my opinion, be widely viewed as Republican zealotry. The GOP governor and legislators have the moral high ground as is. They will forfeit it if they do this.   I still say they should wait ’em out.