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Thingish Things

Obama’s Got Ungatz

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 13•12

There’s a great New York Italian expression called “ungatz.” If you’ve got ungatz, you’ve got nothing — you’re whistling Dixie. Jewish New York will know this as “bupkis.”

Ungatz is the perfect word to use in a poker game when staring down another player. “This guy’s betting like he’s Johnny Chan,” you might say, “but I’m telling you, he’s got ungatz.” (don’t try this line if you’re Irish American like me.)

The Obama campaign has ungatz right now. You can tell because it keeps hammering away at Bain Capital — which has been hammered to death — and at Mitt Romney‘s tax returns. In political campaigns, when the cupboard of tricks runs barren — when you’ve got ungatz — there are two reliable jabs to throw. If you’re behind, you challenge your opponent to debates and hope he refuses; if you’re on a fishing expedition and your opponent is wealthy, you demand his tax returns, hope he says “no,” or that he complies and something with legs pops up.

It’s a way to get the attention off you and onto the other guy, if only to give you the breathing room to think of something else to do.

Levice The rest of this column is available at Newsday Westchester.  Thanks for reading!

News from a Five-Year-Old

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 13•12

Completely out of the blue: “Vag-ina! Va-gina! Va-gina and Pedis make one big happy family!”

Our school seems to be doing an excellent job — or that little rat at camp.

Am I off the hook? 

Team America!

Written By: Bill Lalor - Jul• 13•12

These days, I welcome almost any expression of bi-partisanship in Washington, even if it’s cheap grandstanding that accomplishes almost nothing.  In today’s offering, proud Americans across the political spectrum are busying themselves expressing righteous outrage over something we can all agree on:  U.S. Olympians should not be wearing uniforms made in China.

Reports the AP:

Republicans and Democrats railed Thursday about the U.S. Olympic Committee’s decision to dress the U.S. team in Chinese manufactured berets, blazers and pants while the American textile industry struggles economically with many U.S. workers desperate for jobs.

 Sen. Harry Reid, ever the patriot, suggested they should the just burn the stuff:

“I am so upset. I think the Olympic committee should be ashamed of themselves. I think they should be embarrassed. I think they should take all the uniforms, put them in a big pile and burn them and start all over again,” Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., told reporters at a Capitol Hill news conference on taxes.

Reid goes on to say that “[i]f they have to wear nothing but a singlet that says USA on it, painted by hand, that’s what they should wear.” I don’t know about that, Senator Reid. Nonetheless, we sure do appreciate this burst of patriotism.

The Rolling Stones Turn 50

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 12•12

The Guardian has a story out today on the 50th Anniversary of The Rolling Stones’ first live performance.  The story includes a link to this old newsreel video. It’s too good. You just have to watch it. All of it. It wasn’t just The Beatles that buckled the girls’ knees. 

And 10 years later (1972). Amazing how much and how fast the world changed. What happened to Charlie Watts’s tie? 

Biden’s Tongue

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 10•12

He just can help himself…

 

#YouthHasNoAge? #Whatever

Written By: Bill Lalor - Jul• 10•12

It does not seem that long ago that I’d spend summer afternoons sitting at my kitchen table scouring an actual paper copy of Newsday for baseball box scores and tracking this statistic and that. But it was. In fact, it was really long ago.  This unhappy grim truth dawned on me tonight when I turned on the #ASG.  Don’t get me wrong: seeing the best players on one field is still #surreal – it’s just that #Idon’tactuallyrecognizemostofthem, especially the ones who aren’t #NewYorkYankees.   #Sandoval? #Gonzalez? There’s a #Fielder named “Prince”? #What?

All of them look like they’re in junior high school. To make matters worse, @GeorgeBrett looks like he could star in a #Cailis commercial, Derek Jeter is a DiMaggio-like elder, Rickey Henderson was hitting weak pop-ups last night in the #lame celebrity softball game against Jenny Finch, and my boyhood hero Don Mattingly – get this – is managing…the freaking Los Angeles Dodgers. (Come to think of it, to my kids, @DonMattingly will be older and more distant than @MickeyMantle was to me.)

 As my teenage nieces might tweet: #Sigh.

@PabloPicasso once said that “Youth has no age.” I have no idea what this means, but I’ll contemplate that while I watch these kids, some of whom were my daughter’s age (under 3) #whenIwasincollege, play the #ASG. #Awesome.

My Take on Higgs Boson

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 10•12

I tried to get excited about the Higgs boson. I really did. I’m sure it’s a very big deal, and I know a lot of work went into finding the thing. But even with all its hype, I’m ashamed to admit, I just can’t get jazzed up about it.

I hope that doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

Every time I hear someone excitedly explain Higgs boson — or try to — I am reminded of the pot-smoking scene in the movie “Animal House” where Pinto (Tom Hulce), transfixed by his fingertips, asks his mod professor (Donald Sutherland) in halting astonishment, “OK . . . our whole solar system . . . could be, like . . . one tiny atom in the fingernail of some other giant being?” Sure that kind of thinking is mind-blowing, but then the cops bang on the door.

Higgs boson — aka the “God particle” — is the stuff long theorized to give matter mass. The particle has been a scientific assumption for almost 50 years and the announcement last week is that, finally, it has been proved to exist. More than anything, it was confirmation that scientists for the past five decades haven’t been smoking from the same bong as Pinto.

It’s been described as the “Holy Grail” of science, so I get that the white-lab-coat community is exuberant. But what does it mean to the rest of us?

The rest of this column is available at Newsday Westchester.  Thanks for reading!

Out of Bounds, Dinesh

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 10•12

President Obama is on track to lose the election in November because his policies have failed and he is demonstrating an historic lack of leadership in the Oval Office. Cheap shots like the interview above with President Obama’s brother George from Kenya do not aid in the effort to remove the President from office. Mr. Obama the Kenyan, who looks much like his brother, comports himself well in the interview, in which  conservative author turned documentary filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza asks him conspicuously loaded questions. 

The very idea of this interview seems mean-spirited to me. George Obama comes from a abjectly poor city, yet he clearly wants no, nor is he asking for, hand outs from his famous brother. He is a proud man and that should be honored. But this interview has only one purpose — to embarrass the U.S. president. George Obama is also President Obama’s kin, and family is out of bounds in politics. Period.  

This is the crap, frankly, that turns off independent voters, whom, on balance, seem willing to replace this president. Mr.  D’Souza and others should not rally them back to President Obama’s side with distasteful interviews like this  — even if it sells tickets to the show or extra copies of the book.  There is plenty of material to work with right here at home. 

Yet more on the law and politics of Obamacare

Written By: Bill Lalor - Jul• 08•12

John Fabian Witt, a Yale law professor and law historian, wrote a fabulous and insightful piece for Balkaniztion.com that is a must-read on the Supreme Court’s Obamacare ruling.  (It’s so good that I am posting it now, even though it’s about a week old.) Based on Roberts’s training and intellectual lineage, Witt writes,

“it should be no surprise that the chief justice had an intuitive feel for what he called the “functional approach” of the Act’s individual mandate as the equivalent of a tax makes perfect sense. Roberts’s practical evaluation of the Act seems quite plausibly to have been the result of professional training and mentoring that allowed him to draw on a long history, going back eighty years to the beginnings of a remarkable line of American jurists yoked together by relations of mentorship and professional connections.”

Witt’s article is eye-opening reading for those of us who have spent the last week or so scratching our heads over the ruling and how conservatives won with Justice Kennedy but lost with Justice Roberts.

As much as Republican campaigns may salivate at making 2012 a “referendum” on Obamacare, the SCOTUS ruling is a boost for President Obama.  There’s nothing scientific about this observation, but the President (perhaps temporarily) enjoys a timely new gloss of competence.  He can now make the argument to voters that he promised “transformative” things and, whatever the political consequences, stuck by the rhetoric by seeing through truly “landmark” legislation that had eluded liberals for so long. For a President defined by disappointment, failure and pettiness, the defense of Obamacare – now with a blessing, of sorts, from Justice Roberts – will put some much-needed wind in the sails.  To borrow from a friend of mine who is a non-affiliated voter and my go-to Obama-barometer: “He seems like less of a loser.”

Run, Alec, Run!

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 07•12

Alec Baldwin is at it again. The Hollywood hothead is thinking of running for mayor of New York for the nth time.

This time Baldwin’s considerations are for real, though, “very real” his brother Billy Baldwin assured CNN this week. There’s just that temperament thing to consider.

But “let me remind you that John McCain and Rudy Giuliani are quite the same,” the younger Baldwin explained with a straight face, “and they are very successful and highly effective politicians.”

No one expects the volatile Alec Baldwin to run next year, of course. For one thing he’s newly married — to a 28-year-old yoga instructor. Baldwin is 54. He may not survive the honeymoon. He’s also been floating and withdrawing his name for public offices for more than 20 years. When he’s not doing that, he’s threatening to move to Canada.

But why shouldn’t Baldwin run?

The rest of this column is available at Newsday Westchester.  Thanks for reading!