Thingish Things

BREAKING: Governor of New York Vanishes

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jul• 25•14

Disassociated Press–July 25…
New York State governor Andrew M. Cuomo, 56, is missing.  The Empire State’s 56th governor disappeared sometime late Tuesday. He has not been heard from or seen since.


Mr. Cuomo (left) with Lt. Governor candidate Kathy Hochul. Tragically, Ms. Hochul went missing last month.

“This is unheard of — a governor going missing like this,” said a neighbor of  Mr. Cuomo’s in the tony Westchester Town of New Castle. “People don’t just disappear like that.  If this could happen to him, it could happen to anyone.”

Investigators are flummoxed.  Mr. Cuomo reportedly arrived home Tuesday night with his state police escort, but did not emerge from his home Wednesday morning.  A search of his house, including his recently finished basement, turned up nothing.  Local officials went to far as to dredge the pond in front of Mr. Cuomo’s home. That turned up nothing but a decayed baseball bat, which showed no evidence of recent use.

“This is a genuine mystery,” said chief investigator Hyde Andrews. “To think, while I was still in bed reading The New York Times Tuesday morning, the governor was vanishing.  I may spend the rest of my life regretting my inaction.”

A missing governor is not unprecedented.  Former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford went briefly missing several years ago. Members of his staff at the time said he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.  It turned out that the governor was in South America visiting a friend.

It is not known whether Mr. Cuomo has any friends in South America.

Lt. Governor Robert Duffy has temporarily assumed Mr. Cuomo’s responsibilities as New York’s chief executive. Under New York’s Constitution, Mr. Duffy will be sworn in as the state’s  57th governor on Monday if Mr. Cuomo is not located.

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