Thingish Things

Ewe Betcha!

Written By: William F. B. O'Reilly - Jun• 13•11


Associated Press is reporting that a Pennsylvania school district (Carlisle, home to the US Army War College and beautiful Dickinson College) has come up with a novel way to save money.

Baaa, you say?  Well yes; that’s pretty much right.

The Carlisle school district believes it will save $15,000 this year on landscaping by letting area sheep eat some of its grass. The hungry ewes, on loan from Carlisle farmers, already are hard at work grazing a field filled with solar panels (it’s time consuming to get around the things with a lawn mower evidently.)

It’s a great idea — obviously — but it does come with risk. Some in government might be  so taken with the idea that they are tempted to expand and bureaucratize it. (I say that only half-jokingly.)

Can’t you see it?

The conversation would start with required insurance against sheep bites, and extend into proper care for the sheep themselves, led by animal rights activists and The Senate Special Committee on the Treatment of Farm Animals on Loan.   The committee would, of course, require signage warning the public that such and such field is being patrolled by the little ovi – right before initiating a study into the dangers of sheep poop.  Questions that need answers: Is it polluting our public spaces? Does it cause asthma?  Does poop have carbon? And who is responsible for scooping it up?  The farmers?  And, if so, what should be the penalty for failing to do so?

Come to think of it, shouldn’t the farmer’s being paying us to let their animals graze? And if they resist that, screw ’em.  Local governments can get their own sheep.  We’ll just hire a few people to manage them. A few people and some veterinarians. And a supervisor or two. And a trainer.  And a union rep. (They’ll need to be unionized, right?) Do they need hazard pay? Do the sheep?

This may require a Blue Ribbon Panel…

Hang in there, Carlisle.


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One Comment

  1. Your Friend says:

    This will never work. Have you ever seen a field grazed by sheep? They eat the grass right down to the dirt. Who ever proposed this to Carlisle is not doing the folks there any favors. The basic problem is that sheep and cows are not native to North America and their grazing habits are counter-productive to the health of our land. Every meat-eating American should read Dan O’Brien’s Buffalo for the Broken Heart, which addresses this very issue much more eloquently than I ever will.

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